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Gatecrasher London - Review

Reported by Tanya Daly / Submitted 05-12-02 09:58

Moo, moo. Welcome to the cattle crate that is Gatecrasher@Heaven. You'd have needed a shoehorn to squeeze more people onto the dance floor. I'm sure that the dance floor conditions were breaking some sort of UN convention on human rights! Veal cattle have more room than us so from now on I expect calves around the world to be petitioning for better conditions for clubbers.



What is up with the sound system at Heaven??? TURN THE DAMN MUSIC UP! Heaven used to have one of the most banging systems in town but now we have mono if you stand at the front, everyone's conversations if you stand in the middle, and a slight improvement at the back right next to the speakers - but you tend to lose the atmosphere when you are that close to the exit. Mostly because it took all the willpower I could muster to stop myself from running towards it. Trance needs to be played at EXTRA loud volume, so that the air is filled with lively particles that rush down and tickle your arm hairs so that they stand on end. I take it as a bad sign if I don't have the hearing of a 90 year old the next day, yet I managed to escape without even the slightest hint of ringing.

The other blunder was that they did not open the Soundshaft room. Usually on Gatecrasher nights they open it up and pipe the music from the main room through there. Great for those of us that twigged onto it, which weren't too many people, we had plenty of room to dance like spaced out lunatics. Alas, 'tis gone now.



What happened to the early bird catches the worm? It was more like the early bird catches 2 hours of progressive boredom as provided by Ferry Corsten. Maybe its just a personal thing, I'm just that hyper-kinetic that it really is not my idea of fun starting out the evening waiting for something thrilling to happen. If your mind is functioning as God intended, its just not ideal, standing there, swaying mindlessly in the wind at the beginning of every evening. I think I must be sonar-powered.

Armin van B's set was all over the place: dancey track, dreamy track, druggie track. Mate, I know that each set is supposed to be a journey but I'd like to at least get the chance to unpack before you take us to the next destination! It was the All-Bar-One approach to music: cater for everyone but excite no one. I don't think I have ever left before the end of an Armin set but this was tragically the first time I committed such an atrocity, and Armin, its up to you that I make it the last!


With thanks to fucked stevie for the use of his pictures Thumbs up
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Other Features By Tanya Daly:
Interview with Tomcraft
My dog's a DJ - The John Askew Interview
Heat:Evolution - Review
Euphoria@Heaven - Review
Swamp @ Bagleys - Review
The views and opinions expressed in this review are strictly those of the author only for which HarderFaster will not be held responsible or liable.
Comments:

From: glowworm on 5th Dec 2002 16:29.08
Ouch!!! :-)

From: missFUNKtional on 5th Dec 2002 17:04.42
HEAVEN was packed as usual on Friday night and the main dancefloor rammed.... so I avoided it for the following 4 hours. it always feels like I am trapped in a permanent thoroughfare when I attempt the main dancefloor. And I couldn't agree more with you tanya- WHATS UP WITH THE VOLUME? the sound did nothing for me, it definitly didn't lure me to the main dancefloor. Only later, much later at about 4.00 did I venture back, settling down nicely on the steps next to the stage with a good view of what was happening on the decks. And thats when Armin really started warming up. He was in his element. His music alive and driving. The crowd loved him and he was clearly enjoying himself. I didn't want him to stop playing.... ever!!!
I eventually had to depart from heaven, but left with many smiling angels in tow!

From: shauny69 on 5th Dec 2002 18:04.49
What a pile of shit! Gatecrasher was absolute class as always. It wasnt that busy (I always had room to dance) and the music was fine IMO. I must have been at a different event?????

From: The Zurich on 6th Dec 2002 10:54.32
I agree about packing them in that night. How they hell can you call it a dance club when you're packed in like sardines. Next time charge £20, which might deter some from going and give the rest of us a place to dance!

Tunes were good, although I thought Ferry would go a little bit harder. He did finish off great though and Armin kept it going. All in all, about a 7/10.



From: Dee on 8th Dec 2002 16:24.45
I can never believe comments like that 'The Zurich' - ie raise the price so they let less people in. Errm, no, do the right thing and just let less people in full stop. Roll eyes (sarcastic) Why is that so hard for promoters to figure out? (Or punters like you for that matter).

From: shauny69 on 9th Dec 2002 18:21.48
They did let the right amount of people in. Zurich and Tanya must weigh 50 stone each if they were cramped.

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